How To Change Your Self Talk. Part 1 – Tune In

Your self talk is mostly generated by your unconscious mind, which means that it’s automatic.

To change your thoughts, you first have to take them off ‘autopilot’ and bring them into your conscious awareness.

You do this by observing your thoughts.

It sounds easy but it can take a while to get the hang of it. The more often you tune in and pay attention, the better you’ll become at noticing your Self Talk.

Several times a day, stop and ask yourself: “What am I thinking now?”

Make a note of what’s going through your mind in your Mindset journal.

At this point, just listen in to your stream of thoughts, without engaging or trying to change them. Simply get used to observing, as if you were watching the carriages of the world’s longest train passing by, with each carriage representing a thought.

Look out for themes and patterns that crop up repeatedly. Especially take note when you face a situation that feels challenging, or you don’t think you’re performing at your best, or someone leaves you feeling insecure.

This doesn’t come easily at first but if you consciously tune in several times a day, you’ll soon get the hang of it.

So what exactly are you listening for when you tune in to your thoughts?

You’re looking out for anything that might be getting in your way:

• Content. Do you sometimes find yourself thinking you’re not good enough? Or not doing well enough? Or comparing yourself unfavourably with others?
• Language and tone of voice. Do you call yourself stupid, or an idiot, or worse? What about the tone of voice? Is it whining, nagging or ranting?
• How you feel, emotionally? Do your thoughts sometimes make you feel upset or inadequate? Particularly pay attention when you’re faced with a situation or person that’s left you feeling bad in the past.
• What effect is the self talk having on your behaviour? Are you perhaps inwardly exasperated about something but not translating this into constructive action (a failure which could lead to a vicious circle of you beating yourself up with yet more negative self talk)?

Really notice what happens when you listen in to your thoughts.

The act of paying attention takes your thoughts from autopilot (unconscious mind) into awareness (conscious mind). That’s a very important step and we’ll look into it in more detail in steps 2 and 3.

Although I suggest that you don’t deliberately change your thoughts at this stage, you may notice that even becoming aware of what you’re thinking interrupts your patterns of self talk.

TASK: Get used to tuning in to your thoughts several times a day, especially when you feel out of sorts, challenged or uncomfortable. Listen, but remember, don’t get involved. Make a note in your Mindset Journal of the kind of thoughts you’re having, the language and tone, and whether they’re helpful or unhelpful

If you’ve found this post useful, please feel free to share it, and comment below on your own self talk experience.

My next post will be be about Step 2 of how to change your self talk so that it’s more constructive and helpful to you. Stay tuned.